Looking for a heartbeat in the night.

The perfect life was all I thought about as a child, I guess when you grow up reality hits you hard. Liquor and any sharp item did the job the pain was no longer "pain" it was a sensational feeling that ran through my body. I've been told I was crazy, plenty of times but that's because no one understands me and if they do I haven't met them yet. I've been on my own for a long time no one wants an alcoholic/ cutter for a girlfriend. It really doesn't phase me any more. I'm doing just fine in this fucked up little world of mine. If you want to continue watching everything fall apart than here it is @ThisIsBlair_

Reblogged from: nothingspexial via posted by: nothingspexial

Dear Journal,

 It’s been forever since I’ve actually picked you up and wrote something. Well I’m back home in Bon Temps and I’m home alone, the roommates I had left and left a letter to make it seem as if it would make me feel better. I need a drink, I really, really do! Maybe coming back here was a bad Idea I have to put with the fucking whispers that’ll be traveling around I don’t feel like doing it.

 Family still no contact, I guess they’re leaving me alone for good. It’s really time for me to adapt staying in this crazy place by myself. I have this journal, my bottles and my little friend named razor. It’s very tempting to go back but I’m doing so far so good without it, not sure how long I’ll be able to keep it up..

I’m stressing myself already and I haven’t been here for a day, I guess certain things do that to you?